Go first.

When I was in late elementary school

(possibly early middle school)

idk which

(lots of states and time zones and blurryish mems)

I had to give a presentation in school.

that first,

stand-up-in front-of-everyone

everyone-is-looking-at-you

your-outfit-feels-so-dumb

presentation

The presentation was supposed to be on a hero of your choice….?

(what IS a hero at that age?? — let’s unpack that another time)

My presentation was on Pat Tillman.

This hero-of-choice was for sure 100% inspired/encouraged by my dad

and me being an approval-seeking-daddies-girl,

I went with it.

But this story isn’t about my then-need-for-parental-approval

or about Tillman

This is about my dads advice to me the night before.

•••

Go first, he told me, after I rehearsed in front of him in the living room 19 times.

Volunteer when the teacher says

“does any one want to go first?”

Raise your hand.

It will be hard but it will be worth it.

I promise.

Go first.

•••

I remember ZERO things about how that presentation went (or my outfit) but I remember that I couldn’t wait to get home to tell him:

Dad, I WENT FIRST!

•••

I still think about this.

When I have something to say in a meeting (go first)

When I’m nervous for a presentation (go first)

When I’m scared to speak up in a group (go first)

When I’m unsure about taking the next step (go first)

When I see someone I want to talk to (go first)

When there’s a milestone to celebrate (go first)

When someone needs love/support/assistance (go first)

•••

Anxiety can come from

waiting

comparing

uncertainty

But power can come from

standing up

showing up

and doing shit scared.

•••

Go first. xxoo