On being fascinated.

A long time ago I had a really challenging supervisor.

I was a young professional #SApro and trying to learn and work alongside this person every day was challenging.

They said things that hurt me.
They made decisions I didn't agree with.
They made everything complicated.

I processed (okay, complained) a lot about this person to a faculty member I trusted.

One day, sitting in this trusted persons office, she looked at me and said, "Mandi, you need to find a way to be fascinated with <NAME>".

Fascinated. HA.
I just told you ALL OF THIS STUFF about this person who is making my life really hard and you want me to find a way to be fascinated with them?!

I was young. I thought a supervisor's job was to be there for ME.

But I trusted this person and their advice so I tried it.

Every time my supervisor said something hurtful, I thought to myself "I wonder why they would say that?". Every time they made a decision I didn't like I thought, "I wonder what experiences they've had in the past that would lead them make a decision like that today?".

Our relationship got better. I felt less angry all of the time. I started to see them as human.

A human with a story, with feelings, with insecurities... instead of as a supervisor that was supposed to know all of the right answers all of them time.

Learning to become fascinated with someone was my first real lesson in empathy.

Empathy. That's what that faculty member was teaching me.

Being fascinated is what Brené Brown means when she says, "People are hard to hate close up, lean in."

No one deserves to be put on a pedestal.

Everyone has a story.
Be fascinated. ⠀